The courage to be seen
In the course of life and work, too many of us learn that being visible is risky. Maybe it starts with being called "too sensitive" in school or "bossy" at work. Maybe it’s that one presentation that went sideways, a hand we raised too soon, a dream we said out loud that someone laughed at.
So, naturally we become careful. We shrink a little and we polish a lot. We resolve to wait until we're “ready”.
We present curated versions of ourselves that are efficient and impressive but contained. All the while keeping the truest parts tucked just out of sight. This isn’t coming from a place of inauthenticity but because we’ve been taught that being seen is something to be earned, not something we’re entitled to.
But here’s what I know now: being seen doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being real.
The lessons we’ve been taught
The working world rewards confidence. But not from everyone. Many of us learn early that it’s safer to be competent than outspoken, and to be pleasant instead of passionate. That if we want to be taken seriously, we have to dim a little to be let in.
And if you carry other layers of identity - for me, I’m both Black and a woman - the message is often louder: be excellent, but not threatening. Be impressive, but not too much. Be visible, but only in ways that don’t make anyone uncomfortable.
Over time, this kind of hyper-vigilance becomes pretty damn exhausting. And even when the door is wide open, we hesitate. Because we’ve absorbed the idea that being seen - truly seen - comes with consequences.
The truth is, being seen is uncomfortable
Not all the time, but often enough. It can feel exposing to talk about your work, your values, your dreams. Even more so to claim your own strengths. But discomfort isn’t always a warning. Sometimes, it’s a signal that you’re expanding.
Letting yourself be visible doesn’t mean having all the answers. It doesn’t mean being loud, extroverted or wielding a platform. It means being willing to let your work speak. And yes, letting yourself speak too.
There’s vulnerability in it. But there’s power, too. Because when we stop hiding the best of ourselves out of fear, we create space to connect, contribute, and lead on our own terms.
Showing up is a decision, not a genetic trait
It’s easy to look at people who speak up in meetings, post confidently on LinkedIn, or stand calmly behind a mic and think: “Well, I’m just not that kind of person”.
But visibility isn’t a personality type. It’s a practice. It’s a set of small choices that say: I’m allowed to take up space. It’s in that email you send, the comment you make and the idea you share. Each time, you’re building a new muscle - not of arrogance, but of presence.
You don’t need to become someone else. You just need to stop hiding the wonderful person you already are.
So, what helps?
Start small, but start deliberately.
Share something you’re proud of with someone you trust
Name your contribution clearly, not modestly
Say “thank you” instead of “it was nothing”
Make one choice this week that lets people see more of your mind, your work, your voice.
The world doesn’t need more polished personas, it needs more real people. And the people who seem the most comfortable being seen? They weren’t born that way. They decided to.
Final thoughts
Visibility can feel like a risk. But staying hidden is too. It costs us opportunities, impact, and the chance to be fully known. So, I want to leave you with this:
You don’t have to be louder. You don’t have to be bolder. But if there’s a part of you that’s been waiting to be seen, let them step forward.
Working well means showing up - not perfectly, but truthfully.
