Success isn’t a spreadsheet

I used to think success was about hitting the right milestones: the title, the salary, the shiny job offer. I didn’t question the script, I just ran with it. And for a while, it worked. On paper, things looked great. But off paper? I was tired. Not just “need-a-nap” tired, but aching-for-weekends, can’t-remember-the-last-time-I-felt-proud kind of tired.

Somewhere along the way, success stopped feeling like something I could celebrate and started feeling like something I had to survive.

It’s one of the most loaded words in the working world. We chase it, measure it, build entire identities around it, and quietly wonder whether we’re doing it right. So maybe it’s time we paused to ask a question we’re rarely encouraged to: What does success really mean to you? And are you even allowed to want that?

The success myth we’ve all inherited

We grow up with a very specific definition of success - one that’s more about achievement than alignment. Be impressive. Stay busy. Level up. Don’t ask too many questions. Even now, we’re taught to admire people who appear endlessly productive, exhausted but accomplished, overbooked but in demand. If they have a high salary and an aesthetic morning routine, even better.

What never seems to make the highlight reel are the hidden costs: crying in the bathroom after work because your “dream job” is slowly draining you, achieving the goal you thought would fix everything and feeling nothing at all, or wondering if you're broken for wanting a slower pace and a different kind of life.

This isn’t just a personal hang-up, it’s cultural. We live in a world that glorifies burnout, rewards overextension, and still treats rest with suspicion. That pressure intensifies if you’re a woman, a person of colour, or part of any group that’s been told your worth is tied to how hard you work.

What if success felt different?

Imagine if success wasn’t about proving yourself to everyone else, but about coming home to yourself. Imagine if it felt like calm. Like clarity. Like being able to take a deep breath and know you’re where you’re meant to be.

For some people, success might still include the promotion, the pay rise, or the public recognition, and that’s totally valid. But what if it also included turning down a “big opportunity” because it doesn’t align with your values? What if it meant choosing flexibility over prestige? What if success meant waking up on a Monday morning with a sense of possibility instead of dread? That version of success doesn’t photograph as easily, but it feels better. And surely that’s the point.

We need better metrics

If you’re starting to feel uneasy about the way success is currently defined, you’re not alone. Most of us have internalised a very narrow, externally focused definition. It’s all about the visible stuff - titles, accolades, outcomes. But what if we measured something else?

Instead of asking, “What do I want to achieve?” try asking, “What do I want my life to feel like?” That one shift changes everything. Suddenly, success becomes about spaciousness instead of busyness, joy instead of output, meaning instead of metrics.

You might still have goals. You might still want to build something big. But you’ll do it with more intention and more self-respect.

You’re allowed to want more (or less)

Success doesn’t need to be loud, performative, or even visible to others. It can be quietly radical. It can look like leaving a toxic role. It can look like staying in a steady, “unimpressive” job that gives you time for the things that matter. It can look like choosing yourself when no one else understands your decision, and feeling at peace with it anyway.

You’re allowed to want more. And you’re allowed to want less. You don’t owe anyone a justification for designing a life that works for you.

Try this instead

Here’s something simple to reflect on this week:

Success, to me, feels like...

Give yourself five minutes. No edits. No performance. Just the truth. You might be surprised by what comes up.

And if this stirred something in you, we unpack the topic further in the WorkWell Podcast season two opener, “Let’s talk about...what success really means”. It’s a candid conversation full of real-world examples and small mindset shifts that can make a big difference. Listen here if you’d like to go deeper.

Final thought

Success isn’t a checklist, it’s a compass. It’s not about ticking boxes; it’s about pointing yourself toward a life that feels expansive, not restrictive. The most powerful thing you can do might not be climbing higher. It might be stepping back long enough to ask: Is this even where I want to go?

Because working well starts with knowing what you’re working for.