You can be tired without doing anything wrong
There have been times when I’ve woken up tired. Not groggy, not sleep-deprived, just…drained. The kind of tired that sits in your bones even after a full night’s rest. But there was nothing “wrong” - I hadn’t pulled an all-nighter, I wasn’t ill and I hadn’t run myself into the ground the day before. But still, I didn’t feel rested, just worn out in a way I couldn’t quite explain.
It took me a while to realise I wasn’t just physically tired. I was tired in a way that sleep alone couldn’t fix. The kind of tired that comes from too much giving, too much holding, too much thinking, even when life looks calm on the outside.
That kind of tired is harder to spot. But even harder to ignore.
We’ve been sold the wrong story about rest
Rest has a branding problem. We’ve been taught that it’s passive, indulgent, even lazy. That it’s something you earn only after you’ve pushed yourself to the limit.
That story is especially loud for people who’ve grown up in immigrant households, working-class families, or under the unspoken pressure to prove themselves in systems not designed with them in mind. For many of us, rest feels like something we need to justify.
And because of that, we treat it like a reward. Something you get after the inbox is cleared, after the house is clean, and after you’ve made yourself useful. But that version of rest - the reactive kind - isn’t really rest at all. It’s recovery, or worse, it’s collapse. It’s a last resort when your body or brain forces you to stop.
True rest isn’t reactive, it’s intentional. It’s not just the absence of activity, it’s the presence of restoration.
The seven types of rest (and why you’re still tired)
There’s a reason you can sleep for eight hours and still wake up exhausted. According to Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, author of Sacred Rest, there are seven types of rest, and most of us are running on empty in more than one.
Here’s a quick breakdown:
Physical rest: Sleep, yes. But also stretching, massage, or gentle movement that soothes your body.
Mental rest: Pausing the constant mental tabs and giving your brain a break from decision-making or focus.
Sensory rest: Reducing noise, screen time, and visual clutter.
Creative rest: Reconnecting with wonder, awe, beauty, or inspiration.
Emotional rest: The freedom to be honest without performing or pretending.
Social rest: Spending time with people who restore rather than deplete you.
Spiritual rest: Feeling connected to something bigger than yourself, whether that’s faith, purpose, or community.
Once you start to look through this lens, it becomes clear why the usual “self-care” routines don’t always work. A face mask won’t soothe emotional exhaustion. A nap can’t refill creative depletion. Scrolling might numb you, but it doesn’t restore you.
Rest Is not retreat, it’s realignment
There’s a particular kind of grace in choosing rest before you're forced to. That’s why I love the way Serena Williams reframed her decision to step back from tennis. It wasn’t a collapse. It was clarity. She didn’t slow down because she was finished, she slowed down because she had more to do, just not on anyone else’s timeline.
We need more of that energy in our own lives.
Rest doesn’t mean you’re quitting. It means you’re choosing to honour your rhythm, your season, and your self.
Want help putting this into practice?
If you’ve been feeling stretched thin or quietly running on fumes, you might want to check out The Rest Reset - my 30-day audio course designed to help you build a rest practice that actually restores you.
Inspired by Dr Saundra’s book, I created it based on my own experiments with rest. It was transformative and I hope that in a maximum of just five minutes a day, it will help you slow down, reset, and protect your energy in a world that won’t do it for you. Click here to learn more. And if you want to try the first few days for free, you can check out the taster on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or YouTube.
A final thought
You don’t have to wait until you’re running on empty to rest. You don’t need a crisis to justify your pause. You don’t have to keep proving how much you can take.
Remember that rest isn’t the opposite of productivity, it’s what makes everything else possible.
